A Walk Down the Ali...

2012-02-10T16:59:00.000-08:00

Dear Forrest,
Last time I checked you were still blobish...I could shower and you would just hang out on the floor.
Now you've had a taste of mischief and there will be no turning back...

2012-02-08T23:13:00.001-08:00

2012-02-08T20:00:00.001-08:00

FAMILY NIGHT WITH PLAYDOUGH

2012-02-06T20:00:00.000-08:00

I LOVE little hands. There is nothing better than the touch of those warm, soft, dimpled hands.

Argggh! Look mom a pirate's eye!

I obviously wasn't very into it either;)

Treasure=the memory of Finn's perpetually matted blonde hair.

A beam of light!

2012-02-05T22:14:00.000-08:00

Anyone For a Hike...I Mean Mudpuddle?

2012-02-01T21:31:00.001-08:00

Baby in backpack, ready to hike (reasoning two-fold: mom's sanity and toddler exhaustion), find mud puddle 2 minutes in, 20 minutes later...no hike and big mess...

Look mom, mud puddle!

Come on Finn, let's go find some rabbits...you are going to fall in (I may have told him the puddle was going to eat him)

Yep, told you!

(mom laughs and takes picture)

Forrest: Big brother, you are so cool

Finnan: i know dawg

Finnan: you'll never understand

One Of Those Days...

2012-01-22T19:32:00.001-08:00

This is one of those days as a mom when I just want to stop time dead in its tracks! I watched Finnan run around today full of toddler life, endless energy, and curiosity. He is in that wonderful chubby cherub/hellian stage:)

Forrest is nine months old and his "babyness" gets farther and farther from reach with each day (sometimes by the hour)! Today he was trying to stand on his own-- pulling himself up to standing on the edge of the couch and then daringly letting go--getting in squeals of delight and an applause in before he would bravely tumble down. It also becomes a sad time when nursing turns into what reminds me of an entertaining rodeo event-- chasing him down and trying to keep him down...I am obviously having a harder time coming to terms that he is growing up and that intimate nursing time doesn't last forever:( dang it Forrest!

2012-01-10T10:55:00.001-08:00

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2012-01-08T08:16:00.001-08:00

Cute story of the morning...
Forrest's morning squeals usually wake Finn up consistently around 7. The past two mornings Finn has yelled for us in his usual manner, Mom.....Dad! We have replied with, "We are coming" (pause from Finn)
"OK" he replies matter-of-factly....it's so cute!

FAT baby legs!!! YUM! There is nothing better!
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Graduation From Baby Bears

2011-09-24T12:11:00.001-07:00

Finnan is our little fish! We were caught off guard this week at swim lessons when they graduated him from baby bear onto Teddy bear (swimming lessons with mom or dad to a lesson with one of their instructors --2 kids to one teacher). We are so proud of Finn, but my first reaction was to burst into tears--he is just growing up so fast and becoming such a big boy! Finnan we have had so much fun swimming with you. Your little personality is a shining star and so much fun! You have blown us out of the water (no pun intended;)

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Yummy!

2011-07-30T11:01:00.001-07:00

You are both so yummy! I have so much love I feel like I'm going to explode!

2011-07-11T14:06:00.001-07:00

Parenting...

...yes, got peed on...

...and missed Forrest rolling over for the first time...

How we doing?

2011-06-29T20:10:00.001-07:00

Sarah's graduation in Salt Lake
Camping in Zion
An evening on the strip in Vegas
Sarah and Christopher's wedding in Carmel
Bodin Miller in San Luis Obisbo
And now off to Tahoe for the 4th!
Busy busy summer adventures!

-

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Camping!

2011-06-13T11:39:00.001-07:00

Congratulations Sarah and Page!

Finn having a ball camping!

Even got to ride a wild animal...

Poor Duce!

Silver Bear

2011-06-01T19:57:00.001-07:00

We had an exciting swim lesson today... Finn graduated to the next level--Baby Bear II
Graduation requirements:
10 seconds under water
Independently kicks
Holds wall for 5 seconds
And...

Throws tantrum at award ceremony of ringing the bell.

The look of death. Don't come near me with that thing.

On a serious note he has a blast.

And is very proud of himself.

2011-05-23T19:46:00.001-07:00

We love you Forrest!

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War Wounds

2011-05-23T15:27:00.001-07:00

Finnan's first battle wounds. Three stitches on inside bottom lip and a forehead egg after tripping on a rock while on a hike in Truckee.

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Finn 150% Boy!

2011-05-17T12:05:00.001-07:00

We got home, unloaded the boys and Finnan decided to straggle behind in the garage...so we left him there. A couple minutes later, we peeked our heads in to see what kind of mischief he was in, only to find the following classic moment...

Yes, hat applied, wheelbarrow in hand by finnan man himself. Here's another from the previous day...

And then one of our baby cuz he is soooooooo dang cute!

Forrest, stop growing please!

We proudly present...

2011-04-16T14:27:00.001-07:00

~~Forrest Everwell Hansen~~
~~April 14, 2011~~
~~8 lbs 11 oz, 20.5" short, head 14.75" HUGE~~

My dear Forrest,

I love you. You are a brand new, handsome man. Skin so soft, breath so sweet.. And you are all mine! The love in my heart has multiplied 100 fold! Which I didn't think could be possible after having our first...but it is. I am the luckiest girl in the world with my now three handsome men.

Tools cont'd

2011-04-16T13:23:00.001-07:00

Here we are on a walk at the Sparks marina and yes that is a screwdriver in my 20 month old's hands. Finnan's obsession with tools proves to be a continuos battle especially one day before I end up going into labor. Needless to say, I lost the battle (or let him win) and Finn got to take the screwdriver that he skyped from the drawer on a walk. That is exactly how he held it the whole time, while the other kids we passed were snuggling teddybears. Yes, I nodded to the other moms passing by, that is indeed a screwdriver in my child's hand. Watch ur back.

Tools

2011-04-06T15:10:00.001-07:00

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Location:Rahonda Dr,Sparks,United States

The Beach

2010-02-23T16:41:00.000-08:00

We decided to sneak off one Friday and head north to a beautiful section of the coast and explore a beach I spotted on a map. Secluded, quiet, and thanks to Google Earth--beautiful. So we drove up and arrived in the area, parked and hiked a bit through the Noosa National Park en route to the secluded beach. The hike was beautiful, a coastal forest, unlike any forest we'd ever been in.

But the ultimate destination--the beach--was much better. Quite, secluded, white sand, crashing waves, it was a mini paradise...

It was truly beautiful...

EXCEPT...

IT WAS A NUDIST BEACH!

Little did we know, there we are, minding our own business when we spot Long John Silver strolling down the beach flapping in the breeze. Sure enough, a bit later, another old saggy man cruising along with absolutely NO TAN LINES!

For some odd reason, apparently only old men are nudists. It was particularly awkward when one would walk by. Do you make eye contact? Do you say hello? I'm just not socially prepared for smalltalk with naked senior citizens.

Please note the naked man.

Finally, always willing to embrace cultural differences and try new things. Ali and I decided to join in. So we volunteered Finn and he has since become a regular nudist.

When in Rome...

BINKIE ANONYMOUS

2010-02-22T02:20:00.000-08:00

14 days of meetings, counseling, and withdrawals, but none-the-less clean, and we are proud to announce that Finn is officially binkie free! It was an official ceremony as we gathered the binkies together for a farewell picture and prepared ourselves for the final "goodbye." Danny was hesitant to throw them away--but, as we all know... an addict can't be tempted! In all honesty, I was in tears as I gazed down at this basket full of binkie paraphanelia--all I could see was Finn's darling little face sucking his binkie, watching the up and down movement so similar to the binkie baby on the Simpson's. HE'S GROWING UP SO FAST!

Much to my surprise, it was a completely pain free process. He went to bed one night without it and then the next day I said "Lets see if he'll go today without it." This continued, a day at a time AND presto--never used one again.

He LOVES his Jolly Jumper!

SAD face, I know, but still oh so cute! P.S. as of about a week ago he is sitting by himself!

Note his cute little neck roll!

Fascinated by the TV!

A water baby! He loves splashing in the tub at night at bath time!

It took him a while to warm up to solid food, but now he just can't get enough! I honestly can't go by the "feed your baby until they turn their head and refuse" rule because he seriously will just keep eating and eating and EATING!

And wrapping it all up with a final tribute to the long sleepless nights and hours of bouncing, swinging, shooshing, and walking Finnan to sleep......He has been sleeping through the night now 7PM to 6AM with only one snack at about 10:30PM!!!! Danny and I never thought it would be possible!

Is it possible to love someone so much?!!!

2010-02-01T14:33:00.000-08:00

AHHHH! I just put the little man down for a nap and had to pause for moment and just stare at his little face (this is before putting him in his crib but after bouncing him rigorously on the yoga ball until he finally stopped fighting his exhaustion:) He was making little faces and giggling in the process of drifting deeper into sleep. All I could hope for was that he was dreaming of how much he loves his little life, ninnies (what we call breastfeeding), and his mumma and dadda--because I just melted as I stared at his little face and chunky, yummy body in my arms and became overwhelmed with how much I love this little man! And oh what a little man he is becoming! Since he got his toofers (the two bottom came through last week--see preview below!)

...he is soooo much happier! Poor little guy was not only teething, but also struggling to breath with a horrible head cold and cough--he was miserable. Danny and I have been enjoying his new found happiness...he is just non-stop squeals and smiles! It's amazing how fast they develop! Just in the last few days we have been noticing how much he REALLY DOES know who his mom and dad are. In the mornings (after he wakes at the CRACK of dawn which is WAY to early here as the sun literally rises into our window at like 4:45AM!) He will just hang out and turn from one of us to the other...."Hi mom....Hi dad! Hi mom....Hi dad.....Hi mom....this is so fun!" He is reaching for us when he has had enough walker, bumbo, or tummy/floor time! I just keep getting these moments as I watch him, that totally recharge my mommy powers (because over the past couple weeks between teething, colds, heat, lack of transportation, friends, and family my mommy battery pack has been draining fast) and make me sit back and almost think out loud "this is soooooo worth it, this little man is mine ALL mine, and I love him soooooooooooooooooooooo much! Finn can I eat you! Just a little snack is all? :)

THE AUSTRALIA ZOO!

2010-01-16T21:17:00.000-08:00

The ZOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! How fun! Thanks to our wonderful friends Corrie and Elise, who gifted us tickets to one of Australia's top attractions, we spent the day with the crocs and other Australian locals! I have to admit it is kind of fun to have a kid to use as an excuse to "have" to go to such family fun attractions...Luckily Danny had two! Finn, who obviously can't enjoy the zoo to the extent that he will in a couple of years and ME! I love the zoo! I skipped in and quite ostentatiously tried to be one of the volunteers at the Bindi Irwin show! (p.s. for those that don't know, this zoo has been under the management and operation of the Irwin family for years). Danny and I both agreed that the kangeroos and the koalas were our favorite little creatures, and Crocadile Finndee of course loved the crocs! Here are some samplings of our adventure...

As you can probably tell, Finn was one of our favorite attractions!

Mother & Child

2009-08-13T21:37:00.000-07:00

Mother’s Smile

by Michael Burch

There never was a fonder smile

than mother’s smile, no softer touch

than mother’s touch. So sleep awhile

and know she loves you more than “much.”

So more than “much,” much more than “all.”

Though tender words, these do not speak

of love at all, nor how we fall

and mother’s there, nor how we reach

from nightmares in the ticking night

and she is there to hold us tight.

There never was a stronger back

than father’s back, that held our weight

and lifted us, when we were small,

and bore us till we reached the gate,

then held our hands that first bright mile

till we could run, and did, and flew.

But, oh, a mother’s tender smile

will leap and follow after you!

Finnan Leif Hansen

2009-08-07T21:20:00.000-07:00

He's here! Well, we didn't know it was a "him" until we saw it was a "him", but he's here! He is absolutely amazing, a gorgeous little man.

Thursday night around 10pm Ali started having some new contractions that felt different than anything previous. We went for a walk with her dear friend Kimbra and the contractions continued. We headed home for a bit to ride them out a bit more and the contractions just kept getting stronger. Kimbra came over around midnight to help and by 2:20am we were in the car headed for the hospital (in Truckee). We got there around 3:20am and Ali was complete and ready to roll. Our doctor (Dr. Richards = incredible) showed up disheveled and excited and Ali pushed like a champion and had the baby at 4:05am. He weighed 8lbs 5oz, was 20 inches long, and looked ready to take the world on.

And why the name "Finnan Leif"? Well, Finnan is an Irish name meaning "fair headed/blonde boy" and Leif is Scandinavian and means "heir, loved". We want our boy to be a bold, inquisitive, tough man. Finan McDonald was a mountain man who explored the area where Ali is from, and Leif Ericson was the famous Viking explorer who discovered America in 1000 AD. So, a boy named Finnan Leif is bound to be cool.

He's loves to eat, poop, and sleep. No surpises there!

Scammers!

2009-02-08T15:32:00.000-08:00

I was about one UPS deliveryman away from being scammed for $3550 until my dear dear sister Rachel snatched me out of the grip of an online scandal! (Thank you Dateline!) Yes, Ali and I were merrily moving along with our little lives after buying a new couch. We wanted to sell our old couch on craigslist. Easy in theory. So we posted a picture and description of the couch and BAM! Within hours had someone seriously interested.

Allow me to simply copy and paste the emails we sent back and forth to give some idea... Then I'll explain the darker side to the scandal:

(The potential buyer was a so called James Halton with a gmail email)

James:
IS THE ITEM STILL AVAILABLE? AND IS IT IN GOOD CONDITION

Daniel:
James,
Yes, we just put the couch up a little while ago so we still have it.It is in great condition. Like new. What part of town are you in? You're welcome to come see it.

Dan

James:
Hello Dan,
I appreciate your response to my inquiry. Am interested in buying the couch from you. I would love to come and check it myself but I just got married and am presently on an honeymoon trip to Hawaii with my wife. I would love a surprise change of furniture in our home on our return. Pls do withdraw , the listing from Web as i don't mind adding $50 for you to do that, so i can be rest assured that the item is held for me. I should believe it is in great condition as stated. I will be making the payment via a Certified Check, which my secretary will mail across to you. I'll be picking the item from you with the aid of my mover. My Mover will be coming to pick it from you once the Certified Check has been cashed. Pls I will need both your full name and physical address along with your phone number to issue out the payment.
I await your response.
Thank You,
James.

Daniel:
Hi James,
Congratulations on the marriage and honeymoon! I hope you have a great time. I will withdraw the couch ad for you and take you at your word.

Please mail the check to:

Daniel Hansen
1630 Talking Sparrow Drive
Sparks, NV 89441
775-762-9119

Obviously I look forward to the payment and will work with you to
ensure your mover is able to get the couch for you before your return.

When should I expect the check? Is your house here in Reno?

All the best,
Daniel

James:
Hello Daniel,
Thanks for your quick reply, your payment should be ready for the mail once it is gotten from the bank, as soon as its mailed, I will inform you about this, so that you are aware of when to expect it, normally it should take just about 1 to 2 working days to reach your place so that the mover can come over for the pick up after payment is cashed so that what he does is to have the item examined and picked up. So I will need you to hold the Item on my behalf for at most a week or thereabout for payment to arrive, please I will like if you kindly inform me as soon as you get the payment so that I can have my mover ready for the pick up. I will be looking forward to your reply, once again thank you and have a great day ahead.
Regards,
James.

Daniel:
Thank you James.

I have the couch safe and sound for you. Once I receive the check I will email you again to arrange having the mover come by to see the couch and pick it up.

We'll speak again soon... in the meantime, enjoy Hawaii!

Dan

James:
Hello Dan,
How is your day going? I want you to understand that the transaction is on as my secretary as mailed the check payment already and you will recieve it very soon. There was a slight error which i believe we can handle with care and honesty. Instead of the actual amount, $550 for the item, she made out the check for $3550. She claimed that was what i requested but she didn't get that straight. Am sure this happened because am not around as am still on my honeymoon, I think I might fire her when I get back to have made such a silly mistake, but am still thinking because she has been a very good employee.
Once you have the check delivered to you via UPS, do have it cashed at your bank and deduct the money for my item plus $50 for taking the ad down. The excess funds should please be sent to my mover via Western Union whose information I would supply you as soon as you notify me that you have recieved payment via email , this funds will be used in offsetting the cost of the shipment she as undertaken for me recently and also will be used to come for the pickup of my item at your location.
**Please email at once to let me know that I can trust you to have the excess funds expedited to my mover upon the receipt of delivery of payment**
I hope to read back from you very urgently.
Do have a nice day as I count on your honesty and trustworthiness.
My Warmest Regards,
James.

Daniel:
Hi James,

Thank you for the all-expenses paid trip to MEXICO! Just kidding, we have not received the check as of Tuesday morning, but when we do, we will deduct the $550 and send the remainder right back to you (rather, to your mover) per your request. I will let you know once we have it and then await the information to forward the balance on to your mover via Western Union. On that note, is Western Union the best method of sending the money or would it be easier to deliver the balance in cash to the mover? It's your call depending on the trustworthiness of the mover. You have my word that we will be honest with you. Sorry for the headache! I'll email once we have the check and will await further instructions on how you want us to return the excess money. Keep enjoying Hawaii!

Daniel Hansen

Daniel:
We know you are a scam and the authorities are watching you! Sucker!

James:
I need you to be sure I am still very much interested in buying this item from you and your check has since been sent out. When I contacted the courier service on why you havn't recieved the check payment, I was made to know that there was an adverse weather condition while shipping the payment to its destination but everything is under control now and its now on its way to your location again. I do assure you that you will recieve the check soonest and as soon as you recieve, I believe you know what next step to take, email me that you recieved the check and so I can forward my movers information to you where to send the excess fund to after cashing the check that same day so my mover can come for the pickup almost immediately upon recieivng the funds.
Thanks and do have a nice day ahead of you.
My Warmest Regards,
James.

SCANDAL!

Now, here's what tipped us off... I happened to run a loaf of Danny Hansen Banana Bread over to Rachel and Tyler's and they mentioned they were trying to sell their couch too. Conversation led to the story and Rachel had an almost identical series of emails the other day.

What happens is they send you a check written for more than what they owe you. They ask you to be honest and wire the excess money back to them. What I didn't know and Dateline NBC so kindly filled in, was that when you deposit a check the funds are immediately put into your account (even if the check is invalid or their are no funds to draw from). Your Christian kindness takes over and you wire the excess back to the person (in my case, $3000). They receive the money and everything is grand...

Until a few days later the bank bounces the check they deposited for you since there are no funds backing the check. Even though you thought the check was good, the bank reverts its money out of your account and charges you fees on top of it! The wired money is untouchable and you get stuck with the tab!

It's a brilliant scandal, but if I ever get my hands on the broken-English speaking trickster, WATCH OUT!

P.S. Anyone interested in buying a couch?!

Lotions and Potions

2009-01-28T14:21:00.000-08:00

There are few things that get me excited the way a blog makeover does! It's like an instant paradigm shift, an instant alteration of the 'image' one projects. I have given up on improving my posture, so I might as well tighten up the blog.

Actually, perusing a few other blogs and taking hateful comments from Rachel for not having posted a new blog recently, I have been sitting here trying to come up with something worthwhile to say. However, it seems the creative muses don't come on command, that is unless you invite them with a little somethin', somethin' (alcohol, marijuana, peyote, etc.). So here I sit, mumbling to myself, doodling with my blog.

I suppose the whole "Dan + Ali" blog title thingy isn't exactly true as Ali doesn't really have the blogging streak in her yet. In fact, I don't even know if she knows this blog exists.

Perhaps that is because she is more preoccupied with important things. While I sit at work bored to tears trying to come up with things to do on a slow day, she is busy at work 24/7 growing a BABY! Coming from the world's most procreative family in modern times, having pregnant women and babies around is nothing new to me. But having a wife with a baby is. It has surprised me how amazing/fragile/exciting/scary/wonderful/crazy/hormonal/thrilling/precarious/daunting/and otherwise awesome it is. The emotional spectrum of pregnancy is nuts. Yes, the woman's end of it certainly, but I'm more intimately familiar with the unspoken roller coaster of the man's emotions. And it is something I wasn't expecting.

Truly ladies (because we all know no men read blogs), take a moment to consider the emotions your husbands (or perhaps 'life partners') undergo when you become pregnant--especially if it's a first. Let's hope their first emotion is excitement and joy. Quickly, that emotion is flooded by a screaming gang of doubts and hesitations. You see, pregnancy in a woman's world is equated with the magic of growing a human being inside of you, of becoming a mother, of passing a hurdle in life and joining the ranks of millions of others. In a man's world, pregnancy is equated to massive levels of responsibility hitherto unknown (or at least, escapable). Indeed, the complete foreigness of being a father is scary. Whether it's true or not, men don't expect a 'fatherly instinct' to kick in where they start nesting and fretting over the nursery. Instead, they brace themselves for the fabled hormonal rantings of their wives, of midnight runs to the grocery store for pickles and ice cream, and of the complete death of their sex life. They instinctively feel an underlying sense of guilt every time their wife complains of her physique and the looming pain of childbirth. But above all, they feel inadequate in their role and future role as a father and provider.

The point? I'm not undermining the magic and mystery of pregnancy from a woman's perspective at all. Indeed I am amazed by it and how well women are able to step up to the plate and face their own reservations and doubts and do so with an apparent ease. I suppose I am admitting to having missed half the equation. I believed in Ali (and most women) and truly expected her to rise to the challenge, but I was blindsided by my own role in the experience.

At this point it is slightly more difficult to love the baby as I do Ali (after all, it's only three inches long and frightfully reminiscent of a miniature Quasimodo). Not to say I don't love the baby (which Ali thinks is a girl, I think a boy--the question won't be solved until we see a little somethin' somethin' or not on B-day), but the tangible reality isn't quite there yet. I'm sure the kicks and movement help tremendously, and obviously once you see and hold your own baby something triggers, but right now, my tangible reality is Ali. And she is a pregnant rock-star. Rarely a complainer, she trudges on while occasionally feeling nauseous, always feeling tired, working 12 hour night shifts at the hospital, looking hot, eats well, and takes super good care of herself and the baby--and does it all, not for herself, but for the baby and me.

So Ali, while probably not vocal enough about it, I love having you in my life. All men need that angelic feminine touch only you can provide with all your fancy nancy tricks, your manicures and pedicures, your lotions and potions, your adorable addiction to human touch, your pathetic pleas for massage, your completely opposite tastes in about everything, and for all the hard work you do. Yes, you probably will never read this, but lots of weird strangers and family will. Well, mostly just family. But I love you and am proud of you.

And I promise to be the husband you deserve and a daddy like no other!

Leaves of Absence

2009-01-13T18:59:00.001-08:00

Yes, it has been awhile since we threw up a new post. And yes, 'Silent K's' wasn't exactly Shakespeare, but even Shakespeare would have succumbed to the verbal abuse and thrown his pen out for good!

Allow me to explain.

Just this evening, after returning from a quick trip to Utah where we visited some friends, I sent a text to my friend Darin:

Daniel: "Hey. Did I leave a set of keys there by chance?" (Notice the friendly tone)

Darin: "Haven't seen any. I'll look though. Oh wait, I did find some with a pink hello kitty keychain. Could be those?" (Note the cruel invocation of 'some lack of masculinity')

A few minutes go by where I assume Darin is searching for missing keys...

Darin: "I apologize."

Daniel: "For being some damn girly?"

Darin: "I don't understand English major. Please make the proper corrections and send that text again."

Daniel: "So damn! So damn girly! I could draw a picture if that helps!"

Darin: "Why don't you just write a blog about it?"

(At this point, the wheels in Daniel's head start turning slowly. Gathering speed, they realize that writing a blog about it is a perfect idea and rebuttal!)

And so I have!

And I won't stop there. It's time to pull out the A-Bomb of man insults. That's right Darin, I might blog, drive a Volvo, cross country ski, and own a Chihuahua, but there is an ace up my sleeve...

I've fathered a child. Have you?!

Mwha ha ha ha ha!

Silent K's

2008-12-20T11:05:00.001-08:00

When Ali tossed the boy name 'Knight' out to get some air, the little wheels in Daniel's brain started turning like crazy. "Knight?!" I couldn't do it. Visions of Batman, our old family doctor Dr. Knight and Monty Python's Quest for the Holy Grail came to mind. I couldn't have a son burdened by such crushing psychological baggage.

But above all, I couldn't have a son with a silent 'K' in his name. Waxing philosophical, I began lamenting the cruel twist of fate that turned the 'K' silent. I'm sure thousands of years of linguistically battling its way from the back of words (example: bacK) to the front (example: Knife) was a remarkable accomplishment only to be soured by the sudden decision to make the 'K' silent.

If you are wondering if the 'K' ever was pronounced the answer is a resounding YES! And it's high time we bring it back!

During this holiday season, please think about the poor silent 'K' and at Christmas dinner, kindly ask for someone to pass you a 'K-nife'.

Redemption

2008-12-16T21:45:00.000-08:00

The phone rang Saturday afternoon. After a brief 'Hello', Darin slammed me with 'How is Mr. Peanut?' I knew something was amiss. You see, this wasn't a friendly chat, after all, real men only call each other to 1) make a direct and short invitation to something like a football game, 2) tell a disgusting story, or 3) mock the other man on the phone--and this call, was most definitely of the third type. I soon discovered it was a chiding phone call wondering why in the hell I was blogging instead of trapping. I believe the actual quotation was something along the lines of: "the first weekend you're not trapping you're doing something sissy like SCRAPBOOKING ONLINE for the whole world to see..."

So please, with due irony, allow me to blog my redemption song...

First off, my thanks to the true friends who 'keep me in line.' Being a man is no easy task. It takes constant dedication, a willingness to get dirty, smell bad, make foul noises (and smells), it is a constant effort to mumble and grunt as often as possible, to neglect to shave, to use blunt objects to hit and/or kill things, in sum, it is constant work. So thanks to the many friends who help me along the way.

But, to 'redeem' myself, I think it is obvious that I need to remind the nay-sayers that BLOGGING is not SCRAPBOOKING! (I would never stoop so low). In fact, allow me to list some of my manly accomplishments to prove just how manly I can be:

I hiked to the North Pole. Twice.

I can carry extremely large quantities of unnecessary goods (mostly my wife's shoes).

I can drive cool jeeps, look awkward when hugged by a man, and stain my shirt.

I was one of the Founding Fathers.

I rocked in a rock band that rocked. And wore super tight jeans.

I look just like Hulk Hogan.

I fought at the Alamo.

In sum, I think the evidence is overwhelmingly on my side proving that I am indeed, a man. And that I have a blog.

Mr. Peanut

2008-12-13T13:16:00.000-08:00

Around Easter, Ali was late coming home. I called to she where she was and she said she 'got held up' at the store and was on her way home. "Great," I said, "I'll see you here." "Do you love me?" she asked on the phone. "Of course." said I. "No matter what?" she retorted. Being newly married I thought nothing of this, but once she got home, I saw the sinister reason for her question.

Snugly tucked in her big winter coat with nothing more than a tiny face looking out was Mr. Peanut. A four week old Chihuahua puppy that Ali got suckered into buying. Not a Labrador, not a Golden Retriever, but a Chihuahua. It was then that I realized marriage is a misnomer for demasculination or a euphemism for being neutered.

Despite the humiliation, a puppy is a puppy and the young pup was cute. We debated names and my choices of 'Tank' or 'Warrior' lost out to 'Peanut'. And as tends to happen, the puppy grew and grew on us. I decided Peanut was alright when in that first week Ali called me to tell me that 'Peanut is humping the Easter bunny'. From then on out, Peanut and I got along just fine.

In fact, I am embarrassed to say how much I enjoy the little punk. Without kids I find myself telling stories to people about my damn dog. (Though I am still hesitant to call him a dog).

Mostly though, I love his little personality. Mr. Peanut doesn't know he is a Chihuahua. He thinks he's big and tough and has all the tendencies of little boys. His will is weaker than his desire to get into trouble and when we're not looking tissues and garbage are strewn about the house. Just this morning I found peanut M&M's spread all over the house. His hoarding instinct takes over and he hides things everywhere. He also has a streak of 'fancy' in him. He loves soft things and seeks them out to climb on and sleep on. He has also mastered the art of sneaking into our bed and burrowing down into the blankets. It's gotten so bad that Ali holds him like a baby. (Yes, it's high time we have a REAL baby!).

In the end, while not a real dog, he's alright. And yes, he is asleep on my lap as I write this.

Hippies

2008-12-13T12:59:00.000-08:00

Last night Ali and I went to Yoga Loka to watch a film on natural childbirth. We geared up in eco-friendly clothing (North Face, Patagonia, organic cotton briefs), ate a healthy snack of granola bars, turned our thermostat down to 68 degrees and finally loaded up in our Volvo station wagon to head down (naturally with seat belts and defensive driving techniques) to Yogavilla.

Enveloped in hippy love and ambiance, we soon got cozy and watched a film on midwives and homechildbirth. The film was surprising good and insightful. My personal highlight was the repetitive use of the phrase "blissed out". "We were just so blissed out..." It was an inspiring film and by the end of the film, I was ready to start chanting "Yes we can! Yes we can!" and do a natural childbirth myself.

All joking aside, it was a good time. The main emphasis of the video, and one with which I entirely agree, is that childbirth is a natural phenomenon and not to be feared. Of course its an ordeal, but its a natural part of life. We are so scared of labor that it's lost all context. We conveniently forget that women have successfully birthed for THOUSANDS of years.

So let me hear you ladies: "Yes we can!"

Once I swallowed my masculine pride (Volvo + Chihuahua + Yoga = demise of all things manly), I had a good time. And the yoga relaxation at the end was pretty nice too. Really nice actually.

Debut

2008-12-08T21:22:00.000-08:00

Historically, this marks our entry into the blogging world. Our dee-butt of sorts. I suppose it's time we grew up and did what all grown ups our age are doing and blog. Actually, I suppose the grander reason to begin is a better debut of sorts, one which will chronicle our exciting transition from 'newlyweds' to parents! Yes, Ali is pregnant. Baby Hansen will be making his or her own debut in about nine months and we are excited for every moment until then and with predicively obsessive anxiety, we will probably post every grossly detailed thought and pregnant detail until B-day.

So roll out your red carpet and clear the aisles! The Hansens are coming to blog-town!